Barbara Lewis: Lively, Authentic, and Paradoxical

I have spent a lot of time thinking about how to truly capture Barbara Lewis. I would love to simply exclaim her perfection and describe how she could be likened to angel. I would love to say that her kindness and joy was renowned around the world. However, I would never insult my grandmother's memory by pretending she was something that she was not. If there is any word that would truly describe Barb, it would be: 'Authentic'. As I have said before, Gram lived unapologetically herself; she lived up to exactly who she believed she should be. She was not a perfect person, and yet, she was exactly the kind of imperfection that made her the perfect person we should all strive to become.

Gram's life cannot be summarized by where she came from or even where she went; she was simply more than the sum of the parts of her story. Her story is best told in the personality of who she was and how she lived. It is this personality that I will remember most as will Berkeley when I tell her stories of the incredible woman that she never got to meet. Barb was not uniquely nice, but yet, she may have been the kindest woman you could have ever met. She was not always happy, but she seemed to have an ever-present smile. She was not absurdly friendly, but somehow, she could make a friend out of any person in the room. She was, above all else, a devout believer in God, but she still had one of the dirtiest senses-of-humor of her generation. She, many times, despised leaving home, but she also lived her life to the fullest that she could. See, these are the things that made Gram the greatest example of living a true life. She never pretended to be who she was not. She was a walking contradiction of humanity's perfect imperfections. Barb would insult you to your face, but then defend you behind your back. She could be crude and still kind, joyful and still sorrowful, soft and still sharp, and quick-to-anger but still as patient as a saint. She never pretended to feel a way that she didn't feel, and she never changed her worse impulses to fit a mold that others wanted her to be. Despite all of her flaws, there were many things that Gram was not. She was never hateful nor vindictive. She would never do anything to bring harm to her family, and she was never one to hold her tongue when someone attacked them. Finally, she was never one to dwell in the sadness of the past, but one to look forward to what trouble she could get in to next. We have all shed our share of tears the past few days as we said goodbye to the woman that embodied how life could be lived.

t, as we all think about Gram and share stories about our time spent with her, we are like to find so much more laughter than sorrow. That is the real Barbara Lewis. Gram was joy and laughter; she was fun and enjoyment. There were no sad moments in the 'Cold Room' as there was no tears shed 'Going to The Pool'. There were never any bad times 'Heading to Choice's' nor during her 'Shows'. Above all things, Barbara Lewis meant life. She demonstrated a life lived her own way on her own terms. Gram never fit in to a mold, and she never tried. There was a frustration in her unpredictability, but still respect in her courage. Whether you called her 'Gram', 'Grammy', 'Mom', 'Mommy', or just 'Barb', you had an appreciation for the way she walked about the crazy world around her. She did not break the mold because nobody had the audacity to try to fit her to one. She neither exceeded expectations nor underwhelmed, and she neither missed her goals nor overachieved them. She was a woman that lived each day for each day, and she never lost sight of the important things in life: that which was what was right in front of her. She was a small woman with a large presence and an unforgettable personality. It would take a lifetime of writing to truly summarize Barb, but then again, it also takes only one: Authentic. She was a walking paradox, a perfectly-imperfect person. In that, we will remember Gram exactly as she would have wanted: real.