One phrase that is so common, but so WRONG

As everyone knows, I am from a very small town in rural USA, and while it is a very nice place, there are definitely some things that come with that title. For one, it is very heavily white and Republican with some very long-established beliefs and norms. For instance, pleasant as some people can be, there are some low-key racist comments and thoughts as well as some strong anti-liberal language. Because of the make-up, there are a few groups that are very prominently underrepresented including LBGTQ individuals.

Now, throughout my time of growing up here as well as in my adult life, there has always been one line that has absolutely driven me crazy. Because people know about my family and friends, they are certainly careful about the words they say, but the common default statement is this: "I don't care if someone wants to be gay; just don't be all in my face with it". At first glance, maybe not so bad right? I mean they do say they don't care so that is acceptance in a way.

Umm, not quite.

There are in fact many, many things wrong with this thought which is why it bothers me. Firstly, if you were just saying, "Tone down the PDA", I might be able to live with that. I mean let's be honest: I don't like to see anyone practically having sex in public. Unfortunately, that is not really what they mean. What these people are really trying to say is if you gay, please hide it for my comfort.

Starting to see the problem yet?

Essentially, if you are a woman and a man, feel free to give each other a kiss and hold hands in public. If you want to take your child for a walk, it would be adorable to see you all holding hands and laughing. But, if you want to hold hands with someone that is not the exact opposite, cisgender, keep that shit inside where it can't be seen. That phrase simply is designed to let you know that your life, love, and happiness only matters if it does not affect mine. Here's the real problem: how does it affect you at all?

If I pass two men holding hands in the street, guess what I am going to think? Absolutely nothing. It's just a couple walking down the street that is no different from my wife and me walking (except we are normally pushing each other in to things). By telling people they can't "be gay" in public, you are telling them that who they are is not acceptable. I can assure you that they aren't looking at you and thinking, "Look at that man kissing that woman. What an abomination".

On the other hand, if you are not concerned with yourself, but with your kids (as I have heard), well, that's even more ridiculous. I have heard before that people don't want their children "exposed to that". Because why? They might catch the gay? First of all, I can promise you that not only is it not a choice, but it is not contagious. And secondly, why would you not want your children to see a truly happy couple that has stuck together through more trouble than you may be able to understand?

Will many disagree with this? I am sure. There are plenty that have defended that bigoted statement since I first heard it years ago. Part of me tries to think that that is okay; that it is normal to have differing opinions. However, in this scenario, I can't really take that stand. It is okay to have differing opinions when it does not affect one side's personal freedoms. You want to think Xbox is better than PlayStation, or that Ford is better than Chevy? Be my guest. You want to tell someone that it is not okay to live their life because it somehow (but not really) makes you uncomfortable? Well, in that scenario, you need some self-reflection.

#LGBTQ #StrongerTogether #LiveandletLive