Rush Limbaugh is not the problem; he just gave it a voice and a platform

PHOTO: Bing

Just so everyone has some background on this, I will start from the beginning. Last week, new Presidential Medal of Freedom recipient Rush Limbaugh took the time on his show to talk about Democratic presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg and how he would fair against Donald Trump. More specifically, Limbaugh wanted to discuss how Trump would fair against Buttigieg on the debate stage. Now, Rush, Mr. Conservative himself, didn't choose to highlight their policies or positions; instead, he decided to contrast their "manliness."

Now, for those maybe not "in-the-know," Pete Buttigieg is proudly gay and happily married to his husband, Chasten. Limbaugh, being Limbaugh, just couldn't get that thought out of his mind. In fact, in less than a minute, Limbaugh made a remark about Pete and Chasten kissing on the stage, after a debate, no less than 5 times. Triggered much? Now, Rush was not making the comment because he has a problem with public affection; in fact, I am sure he would love Trump and Melania to be affectionate. He was making the statement that people are not comfortable with two men kissing in public and would not support a candidate that did so. He actually made that point quite literally...and then followed up that comment by highlighting how Pete would look next to "Mr. Man Donald Trump."

Really?

Just to be clear, Rush Limbaugh, himself, is not the problem. He did not invent homophobia nor is he responsible for our idea of "manliness." However, Rush Limbaugh represents what the problem is, and he gives it not only a voice, but a very large platform.

There is not enough time in the day to talk about the issues I have with homophobia and the discrimination LGBTQ+ people face on a daily basis. I will only say that it is 2020, and we still have a big problem. I think it is great that we have people who are brave enough to come out, but the problem is that they have to come out in the first place. We never ask straight people to come out as straight because it is not a big deal; it is just "normal." Yet, we force gay people to come out because...why? Because it is not normal? Get that shit out of here.

But I digress. I didn't write this to bash people who openly oppose gay people; I have Twitter for that. The point of this, and the point Rush, not so eloquently, made is that our idea of "manliness" is so far off that our society props up Donald Trump as "Mr. Man" over Pete Buttigieg. Just so there is no confusion on why I say our concept is twisted, let's compare resumes.

Donald Trump is a thrice married adulterer who once bragged about moving on women "like a bitch" and grabbing them "by the pussy." For good measure, he also mocked a disabled reporter and paid off an adult actress that he is alleged to have had an affair with. Pete Buttigieg is a happily married man with no history of infidelity nor hush money. "But he is gay!" Boo-fucking-hoo. Is he suddenly less of a man because he loves another man? Not a chance.

We can debate the validness of "toxic masculinity" all we want, but here is the real answer: masculinity isn't inherently toxic, but toxic masculinity is very real. Toxic masculinity is thinking that, as men, we are owed some portion of this world for no reason other than we are men. Toxic masculinity is not only engaging behaviors such as assaulting women and belittling gay men, but idolizing and admiring those that do. Toxic masculinity is acting like one man is suddenly "manlier" than another simply because of his sexuality.

My wife and I have not been fortunate enough to have a son of our own yet, but that has not stopped us from talking about how we would hope he would be like. Let's make this one clear: I would take a Pete Buttigieg over "Mr. Man" Donald Trump any day of the week. If we truly have reached a point in our society where Buttigieg is somehow less of a man than Trump purely because he "kisses his husband" in public, then we are even further messed up than I thought. My hope is that Limbaugh's opinion is in the minority, but judging from my recent scroll through the Fox News comments section, I would say that there are fair amount of cretins that share his opinion.

Maybe Rush is right, and the fragile male egos of this country are not ready for a gay president...or maybe Pete just needs to make a few unwanted grabs of pussy to prove he is a real man. Maybe then he could be "Mr. Man."